Maybe she was right. But then why haven't you just left me and gone to her? Why drag this out anymore. Why make this more painful then it has to be. Why... Why say you love me, then forget to call me when you have to euthanize my cat? Why place a pretty little ring on my finger, then say you don't wanna be engaged? Why plan out our entire home, then say you just aren't ready. Why fill my head with thing you don't think you will ever foe fill. Why play me any longer.
You know why I talk to TR? Because he understands my emotions. He makes me feel good when I'm sad. And even though it's been 3 years since we've been together, he still calls me sweetie. I don't think you've called me a pet name for at least a year. No. I would never be with TR. But damn.. does he make me feel a heck of a lot better then you do right now.
I'm ready to cut you free. Let your mother, let HER, and everyone else have you. Let you go get drunk, let you not pay your rent, and take every snake I ever bought you back to CA. WHICH WOULD BE ALMOST EVERY DAMN ONE OF THEM! You don't see what I have done for you do you? You don't see that I'm doing this for us. To make my life with you better. So I can work too. So you don't have to worry about funding my dreams. So I can travel, and eat freaking peanuts without killing you! You have NO idea what I do for you. Because I do it silently. And you say you see it. You say that you're going to make it up to me. All of the bills, all of the rent you couldn't make. Managing your money for you, making sure you had food, shampoo, and toothpaste. I'm not your girlfriend. I'm your mother. I have been taking care of you for years. Since I sacrificed myself 3 years ago and left the church with my family. Yes. I went to a better place and never regret leaving. But it was for you. I did everything for you. I haven't done a lot just for you. I have done to much for you.
My heart is so broken, and you don't even know because "your phone doesn't work." I know for a fact your neighbor would let you use hers. Or my mother. Or JC at the shop. I know a lot of people who would hand their phone over for you to just call and tell me you love me. But you don't. Remember when I didn't have a phone? And I would borrow EVERYONE else's to text you, call you, and tell you how much I missed you? That's what people do when they love someone else. Do everything they can to let them know. I bet you won't even remember what Monday is....
I'm so angry.
Your song tonight is Last Kiss by Taylor Swift
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