Misunderstandings

It seems that there have been an amount of misunderstandings revolving around things that I say on the "Oh so holy" Facebook. So let me begin to I guess... explain myself.

In no way was I speaking directly to anyone. EVER. It was not some underhanded way of telling someone that they did something stupid. If I felt that way, I would just tell you that. I have never been one to back handily say what is on my mind.

For situation number one. When I posted that I wanted someone to rot. You wanna know the truth? A member of my family (I would state who but there is a lot of police involvement and I am not going to say anything) hurt another member of my family. Physically. I was upset. I see now that I probably shouldn't have expressed these feelings on the community of Facebook, but it seems like there is an openness that you are allowed to have on the web. Until you open your mouth and everyone freaks the heck out. You know why everyone freaks out? Because you can't hear the inflection of what that person is truly saying. You can't see their facial expressions, if the tone of their voice is menacing or cheerful. Another reason is: WE ALL THINK EVERYTHING IS ABOUT US! I am even guilty of this. We think that what someone else is saying is automatically directed at us, our situations, our beliefs, and our life. I'm sorry, but its not.

I tend to generalize situations, like the next one:

I watch a lot of friends and I worry about where they are aiming their lives at. And I express that worry into a lump of "Why do people do this?" type of posting. And certain people, weather they are experiencing fear of that situation, or have gone through that situation, retaliate. I wasn't attacking you for what you have done. I CONSTANTLY start out those posts with the following: "I am not singling anyone out, but I just don't understand why..." I will then say "If that is where you want your life to go, then I am happy for you and the things you think are right." Even when I protect myself with these statements, I still get people that get upset. OK, so I've learned my lesson that people just can't seem to handle other people not liking something that they do.

I guess I seem to talk about subjects that are touchy to others. I was unaware that teenage pregnancy and marriage at a very young age is as touchy a subject as religion, but apparently it is. I just won't speak my mind on anything that people get upset about.

I just worry about you guys. Honestly, I wish that every single teenager out of high school could do what I am doing right now. Get away from the culture they were raised in (not saying Mormonism because I was not raised a Mormon) and see what the real world has to offer. It is so beautiful! Not just California, but the world! I have discovered so much about myself that I would have never done had I just gotten married and started a family.

BUT and that is a huge BUT. If that is the choice that YOU have made, then who am I to judge YOU. I know I get upset when people judge me for not being married yet, or for moving away from everything I had in Utah. For that I AM sorry. If what I said out of concern came out as something judgemental, I apologize. It was NOT what I was intending. I was not intending to make you feel bad about your choice to become a wife/husband/mother/father. Just as when you say things to me, or post things that apply to my life, I will not think that you are judging me for moving away or any other thing that I may do.

I want to make one more point. Back in May I posted something along the lines of "I don't see why everyone is getting married. LG and I aren't ready for that." And then in September I get engaged. I can see why people would think I was being hypocritical. Again, the context of that ties in with the paragraph up two. I am engaged, yes. I am not getting married for almost 2 years. He is not living here with me, but still in Utah. We have picked that date for two reasons. One, because we are not asking our parents to pay for anything unless they volunteer to donate, make, or pay for something. But I am not asking them to hand their pocket books to us. I would NEVER do that. And the other reason? We see that we both need to grow and both need to become more adult. I see that I am still a teenager, even if I am more adult then some of the adults I know. So I want to become more stable for him, and he wants to do likewise.

So my point to all of this? I love you guys, and I say things that sometimes sound judgemental. I am sorry if I hurt any ones feelings, it was not meant to. I say things because I feel like you should be doing different things, but I am sure you feel the same about me and how I run my life. I will learn to curb what I say and try not to express myself so boldly. If you guys promise me one thing: If I say something, unless I am stating your name, PLEASE, PLEASE for the love of God, don't think that I am directing it at you.